Period

Today

again

is it time of the month again?... what is going on

bliss

3 weeks of blissfulness. and then 1 week of TORTURE!

i still have 2 weeks of fun kim.

lonely?

sand castle

making a sand castle, a fortress against the tides of the ocean. u spend all this time making this huge thing to protect urself to make something that can withstand the infinite ocean and shit just breaks after one wave. after one fucking wave.

3 step program

kim: 1. always "i'm sorry for ___________"
kim: 2. don't try to win. u're going ot lose. the girl is "always" right
kim: 3. NEVER EVER EVER EVER say "you're using pms as an excuse." or else u really just might die.
kim: but the big one that covers all these is always make her feel loved
kim: no matter what she does
kim: what she says
kim: how she looks
jaewon3: even if u say u hate me
kim: yes
kim: especially then
jaewon3: that's pretty harsh
jaewon3: but ill try
jaewon3: i mean ok i will
jaewon3: kim?
kim: yeah
jaewon3: brb mail
kim: ok
kim: but u see
kim: u broke all 3 rules today
kim: haha
kim: so u see
kim: u set yourself up for massacre
jaewon3: back
jaewon3: hey kim
jaewon3: how come u asked for me to promise to still love u ?
kim: because
kim: they're hard rules
kim: that seem so impossible to follow
kim: esp when a girl is being pmsy
jaewon3: yeah they are pretty hard
kim: paul
jaewon3: but ill see what i can do
kim: i really love u so much
kim: SO much
kim: i really really hope
kim: u can catch on quickly
jaewon3: i do too
kim: haha
kim: or else
jaewon3: O.o
kim: it's going to be war
kim: every month
kim: ok
kim: so
kim: can u go and apply rule #1
kim: for the last 28 hours

more on PMS

kim: i had to teach dave
kim: he never really got it fully
kim: and we fought
kim: til the bitter end
jaewon3: i dont want to do that
kim: soem guys get it
kim: some guys don't i guess
kim: i got really discouraged before
kim: the way you were reacting
kim: it was too reminiscent of the way dave was
kim: and it worried me is this what it's gonna be like
jaewon3: can u not
jaewon3: associate
jaewon3: anything we do with him please..
kim: well, that's how discouraged i got
kim: but okay i won't
jaewon3: if u say it's reminiscent
jaewon3: it just makes me think
jaewon3: that im just more like him
jaewon3: and u don twant to be with me
kim: if i say something paul.. and it sounds oddly unlike me
kim: and u think it sounds crazy and irrational
kim: don't try to make me see how i'm wrong
kim: i'll realize it later on

PMS Conversation

kim: do u believe it or not
kim: yeah what?
jaewon3: i think to a degree they can control their own behavior
jaewon3: but that's like
jaewon3: anybody
kim: you're wrong though
jaewon3: like if u'r sad
kim: you really can't
jaewon3: u can try not to be
kim: no
kim: it's different paul
kim: it's not some mood
kim: that u can snap out of
jaewon3: im not saying u can snap out of
jaewon3: but to say you have no control over it?
kim: when it's more mild, u can
kim: but when it's at its worst
kim: u can't control it
jaewon3: i dont know
jaewon3: i'm sure when it's bad u can't really do nething about it
kim: so you don't believe the severity of pms
jaewon3: are u trying to trick me?
kim: u think girls use it as an excuse to just say and do whatever we want at the time?
jaewon3: no
jaewon3: pms is real?
kim: i would've thought u understood girls and pms
kim: but yesetrday you proved you didn't
kim: so i was just asking
kim: what u thought about what happens during pms
jaewon3: i never suggested for u to control ur behavior
kim: but u should be able to recognize
kim: if i do or say things
kim: that are out of norm
kim: and just be able to dismiss them as my going thru PMS
jaewon3: i dunno
kim: but instead u took it to heart
jaewon3: how can it not affect me though
kim: when i even previously warned u that i was going thru pms
kim: it's not being ME tho
kim: that's not ME
jaewon3: but it still affects me
jaewon3: if u say hurtful things
kim: just disregard it though
jaewon3: even if u are going through PMS
jaewon3: i can't
kim: cuz tha'ts not really being me
jaewon3: cuz u said it..
kim: but paul
jaewon3: i know what u'r saying
kim: that's something i would never REALLY say to you
jaewon3: but u did
kim: u still that what i said is ME though
kim: u don't believe that it's the result of PSM
jaewon3: no
jaewon3: i believe it is a result of PMS
jaewon3: but it doesnt negate the fact that u did say it though
jaewon3: whatever the cause was
jaewon3: even if u were really drunk
jaewon3: it would still be the same
kim: then how can u say it was the truth
jaewon3: because u said it was?
jaewon3: u said at the moment u do mean it
jaewon3: how can i not be hurt
jaewon3: i'm not denying that u'r not ur normal self
jaewon3: but say i was really drunk i said hurtful thigns
jaewon3: can u just dismiss it so easily?
kim: yes because u're not in your real state of mind
jaewon3: are u being honest
jaewon3: if i told u things like i didnt wnat to be with you
jaewon3: and i didnt want to see u
jaewon3: u could really 100% just dismiss it?
jaewon3: kim?
kim: yeah
kim: but being drunk
kim: i dunno
kim: i've never been drunk so i can't really relate to it
kim: but
kim: PMS
kim: it borders on depression
jaewon3: i mean
kim: and u're a psych major
jaewon3: if i wasnt myself
jaewon3: and i said those things
kim: what, is depression a joke too that isn't real?
jaewon3: are u really not affected by it?
kim: but being drunk
kim: isn't that just lowering your inhibitions
jaewon3: im talking about not being urself
jaewon3: not the cause of it
jaewon3: if i wasnt being myself
jaewon3: can u really be unaffected by what i say even if you know that it's not how i really am?
jaewon3: that's all i'm saying
kim: that's the thing tho
kim: do u change inot someone else when u're drunk?
jaewon3: kim
jaewon3: it's not about being drunk or whatever i just used that as an example
jaewon3: im just saying when im not myself and u know that
kim: that means u don't understand
jaewon3: are unaffected
jaewon3: i told u i didnt
jaewon3: u said when u pms u'r not urself
jaewon3: and the things u do may be out of character
kim: hm
kim: paul
kim: i don't know how to explain it to u
kim: girls
kim: we all know
jaewon3: kim
kim: what we're going thru
kim: and talking about
jaewon3: im just saying face value
kim: so if we just mention something
kim: no
kim: can we not talk about it anymore
kim: it's
jaewon3: fine
jaewon3: i told u in th ebeginnign
jaewon3: i didnt know
kim: then why don't u try to research it
kim: and find out about it
jaewon3: research what? pms?
jaewon3: kim
jaewon3: im not that stupid ok
jaewon3: i know u go through pms
kim: but u don't know
jaewon3: and that it's hormonal changes
kim: what i go thru
jaewon3: and it changes u
kim: when i have pms
kim: if u knew
jaewon3: i do
kim: u would realize
jaewon3: somewhat at least
jaewon3: but u'r not getting my point
jaewon3: so just forget it
kim: that it's not something that is controllable
kim: can u please try to research it
jaewon3: i never said it's controllable
jaewon3: or anything like that
jaewon3: ok
jaewon3: that's what u'r thinking what im thinking
jaewon3: but it's not
jaewon3: i never said it was controllable or what u do or say when u pms is your own
kim: if you ACCEPT that
jaewon3: what i said was how can i not be unaffected by what you said
jaewon3: even if i know it's not urself
jaewon3: and i tried giving u an example
jaewon3: of how i can be lik ethat
kim: then u're not accepting what u said before
jaewon3: just
jaewon3: forget it
kim: PMS isn't anything that you can relate to like tha tpaul
jaewon3: u'r really not understanding me
jaewon3: i'm not
jaewon3: trying to relate it
jaewon3: im trying to
jaewon3: give u an exmaple
jaewon3: of how
kim: paul
jaewon3: i was affected by what u said
jaewon3: ok
kim: it's different
kim: when u say that
kim: but
jaewon3: im not relating drinking and pms in anyway
kim: when my gfs
kim: are pmsing
kim: and they say mean or hurtful things to me or anyone
kim: we know she's pmsing
kim: and just let it go
jaewon3: well it still hurts
kim: we don't take it to heart
kim: no
kim: because we know it's pms
jaewon3: cuz it's coming from u
kim: not her
jaewon3: well i'm sorry
kim: and that's the fact u're not getting
jaewon3: i'm still affected by what u say
jaewon3: even if u were really drunk
jaewon3: or pmsing
jaewon3: or whatever
jaewon3: state that u are in
jaewon3: that is what i was trying to tell u
jaewon3: but u'r not getting it
jaewon3: that it's still hurtful to me
kim: and to be affected by what i say when i'm pmsing, means u don't understand pms
jaewon3: no
kim: that's what YOu'RE not getting
jaewon3: fine
jaewon3: just drop it ok
kim: well
kim: we're going to deal with this
kim: every month
jaewon3: well i just wont take what u say
kim: and if u can't undrestand or accept
jaewon3: ill just disregard everything
kim: ok
kim: real mature
jaewon3: omg
jaewon3: that's what u said
jaewon3: not to take it to heart
jaewon3: and im saying that's what ill do
kim: no
kim: this is just
kim: u saying this
jaewon3: no
kim: to get this topic over with
jaewon3: i'm saying that's what ill do
jaewon3: what do u want me to do
kim: can't u tell paul?
kim: when i'm saying somethign that's totally uncharacteristic of me
jaewon3: I KNOW
jaewon3: it's not YOU
jaewon3: but it still hurts ME
jaewon3: cuz u still said it
jaewon3: are u not getting my point here
kim: are u not gettign MINE?
jaewon3: yes i entirely totally get urs
jaewon3: that it's the pms
jaewon3: not you
kim: then it's not eve me saying it
jaewon3: can u see from my point of view
jaewon3: that if someone i love
kim: but u're still characterising it to ME as the one saying it
jaewon3: says those things
jaewon3: it still hurtful
jaewon3: even if it's from pms
kim: CAN U JUST GO RESEARCH PMS
kim: thanks
jaewon3: look kim
jaewon3: i really do
jaewon3: understand what u are saying
jaewon3: about when you are going through pms
jaewon3: i realy do
jaewon3: dont think i dont
kim: but paul, the things that u say right now
jaewon3: no
kim: make me believe that u don't
jaewon3: kim
jaewon3: i really do
jaewon3: understand
jaewon3: that u are going through a lot of emotions
jaewon3: and that
jaewon3: u can be crying
jaewon3: and laughing
jaewon3: the next second
jaewon3: and how hard it can be
jaewon3: so dont tell me
jaewon3: to go researching it
kim: did u look it up
jaewon3: like i have no clue
jaewon3: i really do understand
kim: that's only
kim: ONE thing
kim: u're talking about
jaewon3: yeah
kim: did u look it up
jaewon3: well im talking about the emotional aspect
kim: what
kim: are u offended?
kim: that i asked u to research it?
jaewon3: yes i am
jaewon3: because
kim: paul
kim: that just shows
kim: that u don't really understand how complex pms is
jaewon3: no
kim: WHAT'S SO FREKAING OFFENSIVE ABOUT LOOKING IT UP
jaewon3: cuz it feels like u'r talkign down to me
kim: GIRSL FREAKING LOOK IT UP
kim: I'M NOT!!!!
jaewon3: http://www.usdoctor.com/pms.htm
jaewon3: i did look it up
jaewon3: fyi
kim: girls look it up ALL the time
kim: cuz we're so freaking crazy that we can't stand it when we have pms
jaewon3: look
kim: so we look it up too
jaewon3: can we just drop it for now
jaewon3: and tlak about it later
kim: no
kim: i don't want to
kim: i don't udnersatnd why u're offended
jaewon3: well u'r not gonna listen to me
jaewon3: so how can i talk tou
kim: if u don't understand something, what's wrong with trying to find out more about it
kim: well u're not listening to me either
kim: u're just being offended
jaewon3: no
jaewon3: i totally am listening
jaewon3: i am offended buti still looked it up didnt i?
kim: just one site
kim: right?
kim: and u just skimmed thru it
kim: and when u saw somethign u knew
jaewon3: um yeah i read it
jaewon3: ok
kim: u say "yeah see i knew that"
jaewon3: i really
jaewon3: cant talk to u right now
jaewon3: stop
jaewon3: conjuring things in ur own head
jaewon3: to make urself right
kim: i'm not
jaewon3: u told me to look it up
jaewon3: and that's what i did
jaewon3: yes you are
kim: no. i'm not.
jaewon3: i did what u asked me to
kim: but how could u be offended
kim: that i asked u to
jaewon3: because
jaewon3: you are talking like
jaewon3: im an idiot and i have no clue
kim: and when u're upset or offended, u're not going to retain or accept anything u do or read at that time
kim: because u're thinking u already know and u're right
jaewon3: no
jaewon3: maybe that's how u react
jaewon3: but i looked it up like u asked
jaewon3: and read about it
kim: i don't think u really DO know pms is like though
kim: guys attribute like
jaewon3: you're trying to win an argument i'm just trying to tell u how i felt
kim: broad characterisitcis to it
jaewon3: no and like i told u in the beginning i dont know and i probably will never cuz i dont go through it
jaewon3: so yeah i can read about it
jaewon3: and try to know what it is
kim: http://www.pms.org.uk/index.php?sid=sid6c86007c61db985f649cdad57461295c
kim: did u go to that site
kim: if u googled PMS
kim: that's the second entry there
kim: did u go to it?
kim: u stopped at the first one, right?
jaewon3: what's ur problem
jaewon3: u asked me to look it up
jaewon3: and that's what i did
kim: yeah
kim: but how thoroughly did u do it?
kim: did u look it up
jaewon3: u know what kim
kim: just beacuse i told u to
jaewon3: im gonna contribute
kim: or because u actually want to know
jaewon3: this to ur on going pms
jaewon3: cuz
jaewon3: im running out of patience
kim: and u're being narrowminded
kim: thinking u already know
kim: when u already agreed that u in fact don't know
jaewon3: ok
kim: since u don't go thru it
kim: then why shoudln't u try to find out more aboout it
kim: if it's something that someone u love is so heaviliy affected by
kim: and in return you're affected by
kim: i.e. yeseterday
kim: i'm just asking
kim: did u go thru anymore sites
kim: or did u just look at the first one
kim: and stop
jaewon3: u'r right
jaewon3: i only went through a couple
kim: paul
kim: i just want u to really understand
kim: because
kim: from my past
kim: i know
kim: how bad PMS is for myself personally
kim: and if u can't handle it.. it's going to cause a lot of painfor both of us
kim: and u're going to run out of patience really quickly
kim: and i don't want u to just buhryuh me because i have pms one day
kim: that's why i really want u to understand it as MUCH as u can and try to accept it
kim: but even now, u're getting all mad and impatient when i'm trying to show you what this is like
jaewon3: no
jaewon3: u are talking down to me
jaewon3: that is what im getting mad and impatient about
kim: i'm not trying to, paul
jaewon3: dont say you're not
kim: but u're
jaewon3: because that's what im feeling here
kim: not accepting anything i have to say
jaewon3: i accepted everything u said
jaewon3: u havent heard one thing i said though
kim: yes i have
kim: but u're trivializing what i'm going thru
kim: and that makes me angry
jaewon3: how am i trivializing??
jaewon3: can u explain
jaewon3: what i said
jaewon3: in u rown words
kim: jaewon3: im not saying u can snap out of
jaewon3: but to say you have no control over it?
jaewon3: um
kim: ur'e saying no matter what i say that it's pms and u know that it's pms, the fact that i say hurtful things is going to affect you
jaewon3: u said u have control over it when it's mild
jaewon3: no
jaewon3: jaewon3: i think to a degree they can control their own behavior
jaewon3: i never said
jaewon3: that u can control urself
jaewon3: if
jaewon3: you really have no control over it
jaewon3: i feel like
jaewon3: even when i have
jaewon3: absolutely no control over myself
jaewon3: i still try to watch myself
jaewon3: not that it's the same with you
jaewon3: but that's how i'm trying to relate it
jaewon3: like when i totally really have no control over myself
jaewon3: cuz that's the only way i can understand what you are trying to say
jaewon3: when u have full blown pms
jaewon3: and what u say is not ur own words
jaewon3: i dunno how else to relate to it
kim: you can't relate to it
kim: that's what i'm trying to explain to u
kim: and that's why you're not understanding it, paul
jaewon3: ok so then how do u expect me to understand by reading some websites
kim: you can't ever something just as it is
kim: u have to be able to relate to it, in order to accept it as truth?
jaewon3: huh?
jaewon3: no
jaewon3: i try to relate to it so i can understand what u are going through
kim: that's what u just said
kim: what's the point of reading the websites
kim: if u can't relate to it
jaewon3: no that's not what i said
jaewon3: what i said
jaewon3: how can i understand what u are going through
jaewon3: by reading a website
jaewon3: even if it talks about
jaewon3: what u are going through
jaewon3: i ahve to understand what those things are
jaewon3: to understand what u'r really going through
jaewon3: but how cna i understand what those things are if i cant relate to it?
kim: paul
kim: forget it ok?
kim: u don't get it
kim: u don't get me
kim: i don't know what to say
kim: just leave me alone
kim signed off at 12:03:59 PM.




i guess i really dont understand PMS. will i ever? probably not. sorry

i am sooooooooo lost